baby steps

I cant believe its been 3 months since my last blog post. I had officially moved back home said goodbye to old life and farewell to a beloved family member.

There was a lot of goodbyes said over the past few months but more importantly there have been a few hellos and welcome backs. One my main focuses has been to try and figure out what’s going on in my head right now and how I feel about things.

My anxiety has been a lot easier to control lately, probably due to being quite the hermit these days and my social life mainly consisting of being at work. I have had the odd day where I have dipped my toe into the social life pool, mostly been round at friends houses where I feel comfortable and more in control. But I have had a few outings into the big wide world, I even flew down south to visit my family and yes I controlled my anxiety with ease at both airports thanks to medication and breathing exercise’s.

One thing I have learnt over the past few months is how much I have let my anxiety and insecurities control my life. Looking back and seeing how low I was feeling I would just let it feed off each other and I spiralled into an emotional mess. Over the past few weeks I have been learning on handling and controlling my anxiety and not letting it take over. When I feel that panic set in I take a step back, look at the situation and how its making me feel. I then think on all the things that’s causing this frenzy inside my head and then I look at what’s the worst thing that could actually happen?! 9 times out of 10 its not as bad as what I had going on in my head. But what gets me through is the satisfaction that I got through it. Yeah I find it mentally draining but seeing this progress has made me see that flicker of light again.

I understand that these things do take time, a little determination can go a long way. Learning to deal with it and control it is a step in the right direction.

Thanks for reading guys, I hope you are all well and finding your happiness.



Butterfly JB




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